Holly DeSaunier

Today we had our awards ceremony at school. It was so moving and sweet. Its amazing how to power to recognizing someones talents and hard work can be so uplifting. We have one award called the "Holly DeSaunier" award, it is given to a student who shows overall leadership qualities. Someone who is kind, generous, caring, compassionate, and considerate. This is the last award we give, after all the academic ones. The student who received this award also received a literacy award. His parents were proud of his literacy award as he was.. however once his name was called as the recipient of the "Holly DeSaunier" they were moved to tears. It reminded me that I can measure my success in life on the "academic" awards ( job, home, clothing, etc) or I can measure it with how I treat people. I learned today that in life there is no better award then knowing that you are the type of person people enjoy being with. Those are the awards that will stay mounted on my wall for life.

Missing: Motivation

Today I am reminded of those days back in university when I would procrastinate an essay until Sunday.. promising myself the Sunday was going to be the day I was inspired and motivated.. only to find it was the exact opposite. I am re-living that today.. My report Cards are the only thing standing between me and a relaxing last week of work, and I just cant find the motivation to get them done. I cant find the motivation for anything today. Heck.. I am still in my Pj's and it is 2pm. Rain + Sunday= Complete laziness/avoidance.

No joke.. as I write this the power has gone off in the house. How can I possibly find the my motivation when I have no "power" to do so?

*** Yawn***.. If you see my motivation, please send it back.

Lets call it Spring Cleaning...

So I have been realizing that there is really something to be said about the power positive thinking. Over the past week I have been making the conscious effort to remind myself of the positive in each situation. Life is never going to work out the way I planned it, in fact my "plans" can often be a joke. I thought I would have it all figured out by now and all that I do know is that I don't know how anything will turn out. There is however beauty in everything.

Another thing I was thinking is that thinking positive is not enough for me, I must also clear out the negative. Sometimes the negative can be overwhelming, it can be consuming and it can also be comfortable. Thinking those negative thoughts can be a safety net so that when my plan fall through, or I "fail" at something I can be ready. Its a risk to really truly believe that things are going to work out and I can get all that I desire... but it is a risk I am willing to take.

Today I was thinking about inspiration. I am so lucky to have so many people in my life that I am constantly inspired by. I could go on and on about my friends and how they are the most fierce, strong, independent, smart, successful and motivated girls I know. They go for their dreams, they are so true to themselves that they often break away from social norms and create their own paths of happiness. Who needs self help books when I can look around me and be inspired by those closest.

Today I am especially proud of my husband. He did something that I know I would have a hard time with in his situation. He fought for something he KNEW he deserved. Ivan is the type of guy that aims to make people happy.. I know this was hard for him. Sometimes in life I know I am quick to make the statement "oh well.. that's life I guess"... and possibly miss out on chances to better my life! Now this is not to say it will necessarily work in his favor but at the end of the day he knows that he didn't stand back and let an opportunity go to waste. Its all about getting out there and reaching and grabbing at opportunities that are passing me by everyday.

Fallin in love with myself... it's time

Today I want to fall in love with myself all over again. I want to examine my life and where my choices have taken me. I want to sit back.. breathe and smile. This is a good life.

I have gone weeks (feels like years) without weighing myself. I have no idea where I am at.. but what I can say is that I am on week 7 of 6 day a week workouts. I have not given up. I continue to go for it every day.. even if my pants are still feeling a tad too tight. This is something I need to own.

A good friend said these words " You are worth loving".. it got me thinking. I am WORTH it.. I am going to love myself... maybe not right away but I am going to take myself on dates, talk about my strengths, dream about my future and fall in love all over again.