A New Season

So I havent written in awhile. A long time in fact. I didn't forget about the blog, nor was I to busy. I guess it just felt fake, I was writing about loving myself and I was believing what I wrote... until a stranger, a complete stranger called me fat and took all that love away. Its amazing that months and months of turning my thoughts into positive ones can be turned around by some loser.

After that I let myself go back to my comfortable thoughts, the ones that didn't let me find the beauty in life.

After some time I have realized how much of a waste it is to let other people control how I live my life. I can not let my happiness be determined by what people say or don't say.

So I am back, and I am inspired. I feel good, and I am happy. Life is wonderful. The past couple weeks I have made a point to find something I love in life everyday. We have had a beautiful fall, and I have been reminded about the simple pleasures in life. Like making a recipe and having it turn out, Or spending a afternoon in a bookstore with a really good coffee, or buying myself something pretty,or going to bed early,or having supper with my husband,or laughing at something really funny, or even just a glass of red wine. Life is good when you allow yourself to enjoy it!

PS- I slapped the guy in the face ;)

I put it all on red.

Well.. no not really. However I did just come back from a very busy two weeks. I have seen Regis and Kelly, been to Vegas and seen two of our friends get married! Today is my first day back after all of this and as I clean my house and listen to the rain, I am thinking back on the last couple weeks. I was very fortunate to have 6 days in Vegas with my wonderful husband. Both Ivan and I are very busy and he works very hard at his job, therefore when we are home we tend to stick to a certain routine.. I love my routine because its with Ivan and its comfortable. However this trip took us out of our routine. It was amazing. We had so much fun just being together and experiencing new things. After almost 5 years together its amazing that we continue to learn more and more about each other but that's exactly what happened on this trip. It made me think about how I am someone who likes comfort, I tend to stick to what I know. This trip made me want to get out there again, and by that I mean live my life everyday. Life is meant to be comfortable, but it can also be exciting. By finding this balance I know I will continue to grow as a person.

Today I wish you all a day of happiness, comfort, laughter, and experiencing something new for the first time! xo

Holly DeSaunier

Today we had our awards ceremony at school. It was so moving and sweet. Its amazing how to power to recognizing someones talents and hard work can be so uplifting. We have one award called the "Holly DeSaunier" award, it is given to a student who shows overall leadership qualities. Someone who is kind, generous, caring, compassionate, and considerate. This is the last award we give, after all the academic ones. The student who received this award also received a literacy award. His parents were proud of his literacy award as he was.. however once his name was called as the recipient of the "Holly DeSaunier" they were moved to tears. It reminded me that I can measure my success in life on the "academic" awards ( job, home, clothing, etc) or I can measure it with how I treat people. I learned today that in life there is no better award then knowing that you are the type of person people enjoy being with. Those are the awards that will stay mounted on my wall for life.

Missing: Motivation

Today I am reminded of those days back in university when I would procrastinate an essay until Sunday.. promising myself the Sunday was going to be the day I was inspired and motivated.. only to find it was the exact opposite. I am re-living that today.. My report Cards are the only thing standing between me and a relaxing last week of work, and I just cant find the motivation to get them done. I cant find the motivation for anything today. Heck.. I am still in my Pj's and it is 2pm. Rain + Sunday= Complete laziness/avoidance.

No joke.. as I write this the power has gone off in the house. How can I possibly find the my motivation when I have no "power" to do so?

*** Yawn***.. If you see my motivation, please send it back.

Lets call it Spring Cleaning...

So I have been realizing that there is really something to be said about the power positive thinking. Over the past week I have been making the conscious effort to remind myself of the positive in each situation. Life is never going to work out the way I planned it, in fact my "plans" can often be a joke. I thought I would have it all figured out by now and all that I do know is that I don't know how anything will turn out. There is however beauty in everything.

Another thing I was thinking is that thinking positive is not enough for me, I must also clear out the negative. Sometimes the negative can be overwhelming, it can be consuming and it can also be comfortable. Thinking those negative thoughts can be a safety net so that when my plan fall through, or I "fail" at something I can be ready. Its a risk to really truly believe that things are going to work out and I can get all that I desire... but it is a risk I am willing to take.

Today I was thinking about inspiration. I am so lucky to have so many people in my life that I am constantly inspired by. I could go on and on about my friends and how they are the most fierce, strong, independent, smart, successful and motivated girls I know. They go for their dreams, they are so true to themselves that they often break away from social norms and create their own paths of happiness. Who needs self help books when I can look around me and be inspired by those closest.

Today I am especially proud of my husband. He did something that I know I would have a hard time with in his situation. He fought for something he KNEW he deserved. Ivan is the type of guy that aims to make people happy.. I know this was hard for him. Sometimes in life I know I am quick to make the statement "oh well.. that's life I guess"... and possibly miss out on chances to better my life! Now this is not to say it will necessarily work in his favor but at the end of the day he knows that he didn't stand back and let an opportunity go to waste. Its all about getting out there and reaching and grabbing at opportunities that are passing me by everyday.

Fallin in love with myself... it's time

Today I want to fall in love with myself all over again. I want to examine my life and where my choices have taken me. I want to sit back.. breathe and smile. This is a good life.

I have gone weeks (feels like years) without weighing myself. I have no idea where I am at.. but what I can say is that I am on week 7 of 6 day a week workouts. I have not given up. I continue to go for it every day.. even if my pants are still feeling a tad too tight. This is something I need to own.

A good friend said these words " You are worth loving".. it got me thinking. I am WORTH it.. I am going to love myself... maybe not right away but I am going to take myself on dates, talk about my strengths, dream about my future and fall in love all over again.